12th April 2012
Well very different from the last i was waiting for my car to be serviced, having no signal at the garage, the coordinator rang my mum, she was in the middle of the supermarket so after a panic whether to leave her shopping or not she decided to rush to the till, as she'd need some of the food anyway and it could have been taken up to the Freeman.. Whilst this was happening i was totally oblivious and after my car was ready, called at the Doctors for my medication, this is when i received the call....
This time it was a random mobile number, so i didn't have the panic i normally do when i have a with held number ringing, i was a little stunned when i heard the Geordie accent... it was the coordinator, the usual ''Hi, how you doing? St James staff said your doing well at the moment'' so of course i agreed, i am holding my own I am able to manage most days within reason, as long as i don't over do it.... then she proceeded to say ''I've spoke to your mum we have you some lungs, but we need to ask an important questions in which you have 10 minutes to answer'' still sat at the doctors at this time, i wasn't even meant to have my phone on, i sneaked outside. the question being '' the person is a 53year old smoker''.... i was speechless, didn't have a clue, what was the right answer? Do i really want a persons lungs that has smoked? We didn't know how much they'd smoked, or how long for, I've looked after my lungs to the best of my ability never smoked, done drugs why would i want this inflicting into my body..... but reality is even a smokers lungs are better than my own which are in late stage lung disease... the coordinator said i could ring her back in 10mins.
I immediately rang mum, asking her what i should do, i didn't know the answer i needed help, meanwhile updating my status asking for opinions hoping people were online to see, and hopefully people that had been in the same shoes could give me advice. Mum who was driving at the time just told me to ring St James' as she couldn't answer she didn't want the responsibility of making such a big decision, a decision that could only be decided by me.... After speaking to the Doctor at st James who i respect, she assured me that any lungs would not be used unless they were good enough, i also rung my friend Hayley (who has a son with CF) so kind of understands from a mum's point of view of what she would want for her son, many varied comments on facebook, a lot of which were go for it, well from the people that knew the people that understood, and have been or in the process of being put on the transplant list..... I decided to go for it, nearly home at this time after driving like a mad woman, as i knew i'd have limited time to get to Newcastle or have to have an ambulance.....
Mum was already to go her over night bag downstairs, food bag by the door ready to go, oh yeah not forgetting the case of wine left on the table ;) (she swears it wasn't intentionally left there as she'd put a bottle in her overnight bag, she was sure to need a drink after today's antics)
I rang the coordinator back, saying i would be willing to accept the lungs, to which her reply was, after further tests, they've been deemed unsuitable, this could have been down to any reason, like people said to me they wouldn't use any lungs that wouldn't be suitable..... I was partly relived but had also been to hell and back trying to answer a question, not knowing what to do... I think it's good that this happened as it has prepared me for any future query's down to the lungs as i'd now be aware of all points of view and would be more clued up
Also a friend, explained to me that her lungs was from a smoker who was a similar age to this donor, who is doing really well, do it's definitely opened my eyes to this side of things
So hopefully 3rd time lucky hey :)
Keep smiling :D